Chapter Nine

The next day all I could think about was the coming evening. It weighed on my mind like a blanket of lead. What was going to happen? Had I made things worse for myself? Had I persuaded Anderson to punish me? Or was I going to be thrown out of the University? It seemed so cruel that I would have to wait until the evening to find out, but wait I did, passing the time fretfully in the common room. Several times Nancy asked me what the matter was, but I just shrugged and told her I was tired.

"Where were you last night?" she asked. "You weren't around at lights out."

"I was helping Mr Harris with some filing," I lied quickly, having already thought up the excuse that morning.

Slowly, hour by hour, the day crept by. At long last seven o' clock arrived and--suffused with nervousness--I made my way down to Anderson's office. I was careful to wait until the corridor was empty before I knocked on the door; the last thing I wanted was for one of my friends to see me down here. Questions were bound to be asked.

"Enter," called Anderson's voice from within. I opened the door and slipped inside. When I saw what was waiting for me I could barely suppress a gasp.

There, in the middle of the office, was the bench. It had been moved from the hall, and now stood in front of Anderson's desk. I had never been so close to it before. I could smell the leather. My wrists and ankles tingled as though they knew already what was coming. Excitement surged through me, along with a cool, prickly dread. It was happening now. It was definitely happening. No way to escape.

Anderson stood behind his desk. "Shut the door," he said tersely, and I obeyed. "Come and stand here," he said. I did, and he looked me up and down. His eyes were merciless, cold and hard. Around his mouth hovered just the slightest hint of a smile. "Take off your clothes," he said.

I almost balked at this. Never before had I been undressed in the presence of a man. It would be humiliating, completely against my nature... but it was an order, and I was helpless to disobey. I pulled off my school jumper and shrugged out of the shirt, feeling a blush creep up my neck as my bra was exposed. I wiggled my skirt down over my hips and discarded it, standing there now in just my underwear. Automatically I crossed my arms in front of me, shielding myself.

Anderson leaned calmly against his desk for a moment. Then he stood, picked up the cane that rested against the wall and walked up to me. Suddenly the tip of the cane was underneath my chin. A tremor ran through me, and a small noise of surprise and fear and arousal escaped my lips. I was shaking. For the first time I felt just how hard the cane was. It bent against my skin, thin and whippy.

"I said take off your clothes," breathed Anderson. I could smell him, his cologne washing over me. The smell hypnotic and powerful. This was the man who would punish me. He stepped back and, under his gaze, I stripped off my underwear and stood there naked as the day I was born. Without a single stitch to protect me I felt small and vulnerable. The shaking was worse now, amplifying along with my butterfly nerves.

Anderson came to me again, and this time put a firm hand on the back of my neck, propelling my forward until I stood before the bench. And then that same hand, still snug on the back of my neck, was pushing me down, bending me over. My skin met wood and leather with what felt like an electric shock. I lay across the bench, my bottom exposed, my sex open, utterly naked, my brain a storm of conflicting emotions. I was horny and scared and euphoric all at once.

And then Anderson started fastening the straps. Something happened to me as the first one cinched tight on my wirst. I was trapped now, bound and confined. I could not escape, could not struggle--and my first reaction was pure, shuddering panic. But it didn't last. With each restraint he fastened the terror diminished. My choice had been taken away. I was going to face my punishment, whether I wanted to or not. It wasn't my choice anymore, but his. Completely his.